The inner conflicts create the noise that distracts us, disrupts the flow, and destroys any hope of peaceful abiding here, now. Wanting what we want and not what we need to want keeps us from doing what needs to be done, when, where and how it needs to be done. What we want has to be in sync with what our body wants us to want. We have to die to what is important to us in order to do what needs to be done. Doing what needs to be done has to become important to us. Growing up is dying to our desires in order to do what is called for whether we want to or not. We all grow up against our will. That is the cross Jesus was talking about. This is dying in order to live. The turning point in every life is not once and done, but must be done again and again all our life long. So Jesus could say, “If you want to be my disciple, you have to pick up your cross daily and follow me.” And what we get when we do that is not heaven when we die but “the way, the truth and the life” here and now. Also known as “Peaceful abiding here and now.” Being who we are, doing what is ours to do, is all there is. But we want to be who we want to be and do what we want to do. That is the kink in the hose.